Why the Dolphins OL sucks

Armando wrote:Offensive linemen, you’ll recall, have thought it cool to set those barriers up in their portion of the locker room to keep media (and others, I suppose) from getting too close to their locker stall space. And they elected a “bouncer” of sorts to guard against intruders. If one wishes to speak with a member of the offensive line, one must ask permission of, say, Zach Sterup, to enter the area. Otherwise one can motion to the individual lineman to come over to the retractable belt to talk.

Yeah, frat boy stuff.

Anyway, on Wednesday the linemen deployed the stanchions with the retractable belts differently. They put them around a red carpet someone had purchased and brought into the locker room. And the red carpet led to left guard Ted Larsen’s locker stall.

And if you didn’t immediately figure out it led to Larsen’s locker stall, you could get a clue because someone also brought in portable stick-up-type LED lights and put them on the carpet leading to Larsen’s stall.

And someone also brought in a glass or plastic wine/champagne bucket, filled it with ice and some lights, and put some bottled waters in there. The bucket was next to Larsen’s stall so he could drink anytime he wished -- like a champagne room in a club.

And this setup indeed has a name like a club. Left tackle Laremy Tunsil called it “Club 6Deuce.”

As in No. 62.

As in Larsen’s jersey number.

And why was this elaborate scene set up in the offensive line’s portion of the Miami Dolphins locker room? Because it was meant to celebrate Larsen’s excellent block during the Miami Miracle play that propelled the Dolphins to a victory over New England.

Larsen, by the way, was not around to sit in these club-like environs. I’m pretty sure gritty guy Larsen isn’t too keen about the attention Club 6Deuce or he was getting.

Anyway, everyone had a chuckle over this elaborate set up. And the media played along.

But, with no apologies, I tell you that I found it utterly tone deaf, and not smart, and not appropriate, and borderline unprofessional.

Yeah, I’m that guy.

Look, I’m twice as old or more than all of Miami’s offensive linemen. I could be their dad -- except for the fact they’re enormous, gifted athletes and I’m a nerd unable to produce such offspring.

But because I’m an adult I understand there’s a place for jokes. And then there’s a place for work.

And the Dolphins locker room is a professional work place.

The Miami Miracle block was two weeks ago. But Sunday the Dolphins gave up nine sacks to the Minnesota Vikings.

Nine.

NINE!

(And, no, the line was not responsible for all of them. Here’s the breakdown of who was responsible.)

But the point is the Dolphins should be working on correcting what just blew up in their face and not celebrate two weeks ago. They have a problem with stunts. It’s been going on all year.

And they’re spending time building replica night club sets in the locker room?

Maybe I’m wound too tight amid another mediocre season, but look-at-me overtures by a group that just had a historically terrible outing and has struggled practically all season, is a bad look.

It’s immature.

And it’s unbelievable to me not one person in the entire Miami Dolphins organization had the sense to say, “Hey guys, this is a bad idea. We’re not doing this.”

The Dolphins have given up more sacks than all but five other NFL teams. They are 27th in the NFL in sacks allowed. So, yeah, they’re bad at protecting the quarterback as a unit.

The head coach says they should know how to deal with stunts by now with only two games left to play. But the Dolphins offensive line hasn’t figured out how to deal with those stunts.

And they’re investing time setting up “Club 6Deuce?”

I’m going to take heat for this. The very large men who I’m calling out here probably will not appreciate what I’m saying. Guess what?

Somebody has to say it.

Because apparently the coaching staff doesn’t see this as a symptom of the problem. The coaches aren’t telling these guys stop the retractable belt and Club 6Deuce shenanigans and block somebody!

It would be different if this offensive line was great. When you become a really good unit, you can play retractable belt games in the locker room all you want. You can put a retractable belt around the entire facility. for all I care.

But when you’re 27th in the NFL you have work to do and no time to play retractable belt games.

There is nothing, zero, about the ridiculous retractable belt or Club 6Deuce that makes the Miami Dolphins offensive line better.

Nothing.

Sure, these guys play a game. They’re young. It should be fun to come to work and be in the locker room.

You know how it could be lots of fun?

Win.

Block defensive linemen until they want no part of you.

That will be fun, I promise.

How does Club 6-Deuce help the Dolphins win? How do any of these funny gestures help the players involved get better?

Because, you know, they really need to get better.

And then this:

Quarterback Ryan Tannehill bore the brunt of the terrible protection the Dolphins offered him on Sunday. He took every hit. He suffered every sack. The failure was in the protection but the pain was on Tannehill.

A solid 48 hours after the Minnesota game, Tannehill on Wednesday reported he’s still “a little sore but not too bad.”

So how did he react as his offensive front and backs and tight ends laid a huge egg on passing downs against the Vikings?

Well, Tannehill understandably was unhappy.

“I think initially it’s just trying to get it corrected,” the quarterback said. “You go look on the sideline, ‘Hey, what happened? Where was the miscommunication or misstep?’ If it’s a mental thing, that’s when I kind of get a little ticked off.”

Yeah, he has every right to get “ticked off.”

“If it’s some guy getting beat, that’s going to happen,” Tannehill continued. “They get paid, too, over there. The frustrating part was we had a few mental errors and sacks and free runners that we shouldn’t have been having free runners (on). Those are the frustrating ones that I think you look back and you’re mad about because we should have had some opportunities and we didn’t get to take a shot.

“...The mental error ones are the ones that frustrate you the most.”

Are you getting a picture here?

The quarterback who was sacked nine times and hit 11 times (per the game book), is ticked off there were mental errors in the protection. The head coach says the offensive front has not figured out how to handle stunts yet even though every single NFL team since time began uses them.

And the offensive linemen are spending time -- however small -- setting up and joking about Club 6Deuce when they should be spending every waking moment trying to get this thing fixed.

Am I the only person on Earth who sees something wrong here?

Armando wrote:The head coach says the offensive front has not figured out how to handle stunts yet even though every single NFL team since time began uses them.