Official Media Mocking Thread

[DolFan 316]

Because after the Watson bullshit they put us through for months, they deserve to be bashed and trashed. No holds barred, anything goes. In other words, treat the media in this thread the exact same way they'd treat you if you were accused of saying the wrong thing in an e-mail or looking at a woman in the workplace the wrong way or any of the other so-called heinous social offenses that are now officially considered more criminal than actual felony crimes, which these days actually gets you media praise, but only if you're in the proper group.

I'll get things started. There are human beings, and then there are media members.

Most people only pay lots of money to attend college. Media members have to give away their souls.

Fire away, boys! Don't worry about hurting the media's feelings, because they have none.

[CarsonChris]

There's always next year!

[JMP]

Mike Florio: he never met a story he didn't make up. What a piece of crap that guy is.

[DolFan 316]

What's the difference between a media member and a rug?

The rug lies less.

[DolFan 316]

How many media members does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They'd all deny the lightbulb existed, and then try to get it canceled for existing.

[mercury22nathan]

NEWSFLASH: this just in...

it has been alleged by unnamed sources close to the situation, that Mike Florio was busy typing on a computer Tuesday afternoon. while we can not confirm what was written, it can only make sense that he was clearly writing something to address the fact that he's a hack and got this story completely wrong. now, one could assume he was going to take responsibility for irresponsible "reporting" and apologize for needlessly wasting everyone's time, but the prevailing thought of insiders league-wide is that he actual wrote two opinion pieces depending on his perceived outcome of a trade that never existed. the first piece slammed the Dolphins as being an irresponsible woman-hating organization for squandering valuable draft resources on an accused molester. the second piece slammed the Dolphins as being an irresponsible minority-hating organization for not squandering valuable draft resources on an as of yet innocent man. unfortunately, in order to coat in the appropriate amount of shit, Florio had to shove the narrative diatribes so far up his rectum they may be unrecoverable. we'll continue to monitor this breaking story as developments arise.

[JMP]

Brilliant, merc!

[DolFan 316]

NEWSFLASH:  this just in...

it has been alleged by unnamed sources close to the situation, that Mike Florio was busy typing on a computer Tuesday afternoon.  while we can not confirm what was written, it can only make sense that he was clearly writing something to address the fact that he's a hack and got this story completely wrong.  now, one could assume he was going to take responsibility for irresponsible "reporting" and apologize for needlessly wasting everyone's time, but the prevailing thought of insiders league-wide is that he actual wrote two opinion pieces depending on his perceived outcome of a trade that never existed.  the first piece slammed the Dolphins as being an irresponsible woman-hating organization for squandering valuable draft resources on an accused molester.  the second piece slammed the Dolphins as being an irresponsible minority-hating organization for not squandering valuable draft resources on an as of yet innocent man.  unfortunately, in order to coat in the appropriate amount of shit, Florio had to shove the narrative diatribes so far up his rectum they may be unrecoverable.  we'll continue to monitor this breaking story as developments arise.

HA!!! NOW THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT, BAYBEH!!!

[DolFan 316]

BTW as media member Omar would say, it's very telling that Florio is FAR more outraged that he couldn't force the Watson trade to happen than he is about Henry Ruggs killing somebody. Apparently that's just a trifling, piddly, minor annoying detail, much like Watson being a sexual predator. People committing felonies is nothing compared to Florio getting what HE wants.

[DolFan 316]

If today's media was part of the Star Wars universe we'd see stories like this.

"Life Star euthanizes planet of violent extremist insurgents for galaxy's own good."

"Jedi need to be cancelled for anti-Sith opinions."

"Why the First Order needs to rule the galaxy".

[DolFan 316]

BTW according to the mediots, you should be way more outraged that Aaron Rodgers in unvacccinated than that piddly Henry Ruggs incident. Being unvaxxed is the REAL crime! Yes, Florio and PFT actually want people to think this.

[Sponsored content]